After a thorough creep through Jersey Shore star Ronnie Magro’s Instagram, I am not confident that the famous guido knows what a hashtag is.
Actually, I might not be giving him enough credit. Perhaps I’m the one who has been using hashtags wrong all along. Ronnie’s Instagram captions are so out of this world, that once you’ve read a few, you’ll be rethinking your entire social media game. (Seriously, each caption must take Ronnie 45 minutes to type. These hashtags are ridiculous.)
Here are some of Ronnie Magro’s most wonderful Instagram hashtags:
This is a 79 character long hashtag. The entire English alphabet would fit inside of it three times. It’s much longer than the common #ootd, #tgif, or #tbt hashtags that we typically see on Instagram, but perhaps just as functional. Now, we all know exactly what to say to Ronnie if we ever see him standing outside in the rain.
#Amen #PersoanllyIHopeMyChickWouldveToldMeYourMessingUpYourJordansStupidGetInTheHouse #IdBeUsingHerCheeksToCryOnIfAnything #ThatsARealSUPPORTSystem ???? #WhyTheFkIsSheHoldingTheFlowersAlso? #SheDefGettingDickedDownByDwayneThatWorksinTheProduceSection #IfSheHasToBringYouFlowers #IDontGetThePicture #LooksLikeHeCryinBcHeJustCaughtHerWithSomeneHeKnew #WalkedInOnThem #ChickHasOnLoubs&NightGown #HairLookingLikeItWasUsedAsARopeInTug-War #HeLookLikeHeJustGotHomeFromNightSchool&SSheCrushingDwayneInLoubs&NightGown ???????? #ButSeriously #EveryoneShouldSpendTheirTimeWithSomeoneWhoSupportsThem&NeverJudgesThem #YouTwoShouldLiftEachotherUpMentally #IfYouHaveThatKeepit #IfNotDontWorrySummersRightAoundTheCorner ????????
When Ronnie posted a photo of his new, lean abs, he knew that the haters would soon find something to criticize. They’d say he looked too skinny, #OrSomethingAboutTheCupInTheBackground. Personally, I’ve never used this hashtag before, and neither has anyone else in the entire history of Instagram. But hey, maybe it’ll catch on.
Ronnie shared a photo of his handsome dog, Franco. The caption included #EyebrowsonFleek, which is always a personal favorite hashtag and #YeezyDogOnsie, which is also quite creative. However, in this particular caption, I think that #IPrayMyKidsAreAsGoodLookingAsMyDog takes the cake.
Unsurprisingly, little Franco has his own Instagram account, which is also filled with crazy hashtags.
Unfortunately, there’s no way to check and see if another Instagram user has ever used this hashtag before, because it contains special characters that prevent the hashtag from functioning as a search tool. But, I’m going to play it safe and bet that nobody else has ever used #HadMyChain&MyCarStolenAllInTheSameMonth&Returned because that is an extremely specific situation.
After months & months of having my car stolen & some how returned. They even had it make an appearance in the #SEMAShow in Vegas! The car was returned with horrible #ToykoDriftRims & a wing that looks like it belongs on the back of a 92 Supra! #ICantMakeThisShitUpInMyLife #LikeBeiber #MyLifeIsMovieNowLetsGetoTheBestPart #HadMyChain&MyCarStolenAllInTheSameMonth&Returned #ThanksRDB for making baby fresh again! @rdbmano @rdbla
Am I missing something? Is there a joke about Rosie O’Donnell’s ankles that I’m not in on? Probably not. This is just another weird hashtag.
6. #Pullover #NopeSorryItsCardigan
Ron shared this adorable photo of his pre-fist pumping days. I’m not sure why Ronnie originally wrote #Pullover if he’s actually wearing a cardigan, but at least he apologized for misleading us.
Come on, Ronnie! Save your throwback photos for Thursdays!
Ron shared a photo of himself dressed as a Chippendale dancer and let us know how glad he was hat none of his aunts or friends’ mothers caught a glimpse. Except, then he shared the snapshot with his 810,000 followers, so there’s a good chance they’ve all seen it by now.
A simple, yet effective way to let us know that today will be a very chaotic day in the life of Ronnie Magro.
#Happy420????#OnlyHolidayIEnjoyBcTheresNoAlcoholInvolved #IHadNoTimeToGoToTheShop #TodaysGoingToBeLikeGoingToWalmartOnBlackFriday #TheyAreGoingToHaveMoreDealsThanASupermarketCatalog #Hopefully #LineGoingToBeLikeImBuyingAPairOfYeezys #Amsterdam420 #SoloCoffeeShop #SmokeResponsibly #AroundHereThatCallThatALitteTwinnieTwinTwin
Ronnie shared this scenic shot with a heartwarming caption to remind his followers to take a moment to appreciate life.
Never “stahp”, Ron.